So, pretty much, I've been having a really wonderful and really shibby week. We'll start off with the shibby stuff.
Well, this week has been full of disappointments. Stuff has been going on with my best friend and has resulted in my abandoning him...somehow. Apparently, I've forced his hand and he's holding me responsible for his decisions. Uh-huh. That makes perfect sense. It's happened before where he's tried to control me and what I do, and as soon as I make a stand against what he says, I'm his enemy. Right. Perfect sense right? Evidently, the fact that I'm super busy and focusing on school doesn't mean jack shit to him; I HAVE to do this with him, or we HAVE to do that together. Or I NEED to go over to his place, just because he's bored while he's at his dorm. Fuck that. If I'm busy, or just plain don't want to go there, then it just doesn't happen. God forbid that I have a life that is outside of his control. Oh no, that just can't be! Anyways, seriously: I have things to do and a lot of those things constitute my daily life. And my daily life doesn't always include him...and I guess that's a problem for him. It's his choice that he took a job that takes up a lot of his time. It's his choice to make a daily schedule that conflicts with mine. It's his choice that he wants to hang out at midnight and make me walk to hang out with him when I have class or other things to do the next and I want to sleep. Oh my God, I'm making my own decisions? And he doesn't have a say? GASP! Someone's outside of his nice, naive little world of comfort. Somethings not right and it makes him vulnerable. I mean, seriously, I understand that you like to be in control. Who doesn't? Hell, I like to be in control of my life and the decisions I make. But you (I'm using you to include the 7 billion people in the world...or whatever the number currently is) can't force your control on other people. No one has that kind of authority. Sometimes people or events or things are out of your control. And you can't force your way back into the fold to have a say in the matter. Things just happen. That's life. The only thing a man can do is be in control of himself. "Be master of mind, not mastered by mind." If you can have power of yourself, to look outside of what you want and see what's happening, you might not like it, but you can understand it. And if you can understand something, maybe you'll be okay with. At the very least, you'll figure out how to deal with it. And that's the maturity factor. You can't make your decisions and hold others accountable for how things turn out. You have to make your choices, and make them smart. And later, don't hold anyone accountable except yourself. Don't kick yourself for making what might be the wrong decision, and don't take it out on those closest to you. Be the better man.
As for other shit, I've been stressed from the last week of rush. Getting behind on homework, busy with events and trying to catch up. Lack of sleep. It's just not been a good week.
On the bright side...I can't talk about it yet. I know: I said I would let you in on my new view on what was in the post about two weeks ago. Needless to say, it's not the most optimistic...but it's definitely not the down side either.
On that note, pledge ceremony and dinner were phenomenal. Overall, a great, kickass time spent with new pledges and brothers, current and grads.
Another post soon...not saying when...but soon...
OZ till the day I die, bitches!
~Nick
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