Blargh...

...I am an alien. Not really, I just like to think I am sometimes. Always been a nerd and damn proud of it.

Okeeeee, so. The rundown for this week is that there isn't one. Just been a really fast week, with not a lot in it. Seriously. Usually, you think, weeks go by slow with a whole lotta nothing in them. Then there's weeks that you don't even know went past you because you were so incredibly busy. Well, this is the other side of the fence of normality, or rather, typical reality. It's been a very, very fast week and I have done nothing important or worthwhile for anything or anyone. And the fact that I haven't even noticed the time flow of the days isn't helping my case. I guess it just happens. But, I'm getting back to it, and well, here I am. Updating you.

So far there's 2 followers and I'm not sure how much they even check in. As for random people happening across this, welcome to my world. You can sit a spell, or you can move on to the rest of your life. As always, it's up to you.

Anyways, there might not be another update for a while, since I've got a test tomorrow to study for, with an essay to write and reading to catch up on in the forecast for the weekend. Looks like a potential shitstorm for a Friday night beerfest. Or not.

~Nick

A Brand New Title...

...has been awarded to me. Now, I've been called many things by many people, among them a plethora of curse words, negative adjectives, or any combination of the two. I've heard some compliments and I generally take them with a grain of salt. I don't know if it's just because I'm trying to be modest and humble, or if I don't believe them. Usually, kind words about myself are met with embarrassment and a bit of self-loathing. Guess I just don't like the attention. But last night, I was told by someone I had just met and hadn't known for longer than an hour that I was a "decent" person.

Decent. Adjective. 1) conforming with generally accepted standards of respectable and moral behavior; of an acceptable standard; satisfactory.

So what does this mean? It's pretty self-explanatory, really. The definition is right there. There's nothing particularly overrating the person in question. And it's not really saying that the person is bad.

I was quite taken aback by what she had described me as. A decent man. A decent person. A decent human being. In all my time searching for the right way to understand myself in a simplified form, has it finally been so blatantly placed right in front of me? Decent. But what does this mean to me?

Decent. I guess the first thing that comes to mind is not good, not bad, just acceptable. Just okay. The average. I've been searching and attempting to be what I believe to be every person to be, the average. That's the idealist in me. Maybe I've succeeded. Maybe I've become what I wanted to be. Or maybe this is just one rest stop on the road through life. I think I'll go with that.

All that aside, this is the first time I have been okay with someone's description of me. It's an odd feeling, realizing that decent is what I am. Average. Just okay. Acceptable. Representative of the standards. My standards.

Decency and acceptability. I like it.

~Nick

*DING*...

...You've got a revelation! Holy crap, I have updated this blog four times in just over a week. How impressive is that? I'm organizing my time. In addition, I have rediscovered the joy and stress release that writing gives me. It's quite wonderful to just turn on some good music, start a new post, and just write away. Helps sort out all of the shit that stacks up. I'm thinking I should do my best to make this a regular thing. At the very least, I can make a weekly update.

Along with writing journal/diary style, I have rediscovered my passion for written works. I'm not talking about my usual military history books. I'm speaking of classic literature, philosophical works, religious texts, various poetry of all kinds. It's been a thrill this weekend to have enlightened myself with some pretty epic stuff. It's a really crazy thing for me, since I haven't cared about anything remotely close to my interests and passions. Music and writings are making a comeback, as well as an unyielding urge to go out and enjoy nature, in my own way. To clarify, that would mean fishing. I guess I just have to wait on that last one.

Kind of a short post, but I was super stoked about finding my long lost loves, if you will.

Oh, three day weekend is over. Shwag. But lab got canceled for Wednesday, so it's one less TA that I have to deal with.

Aloha,

~Nick

Tomorrow is...

...a Sunday. Not just any Sunday. Tomorrow is February 14, 2010. That, my friends, means Valentine's Day. However, seeing as how I'm just not feeling the love, I'm bringing back (in my own mind) Singles Awareness Day on February 14.

For any of you who are idiots, Valentine's Day is a special day of the year for couples to show their affection. The day is supposed to celebrate love for that special someone in your life. Now this just may be me, but I'm confused on whether every other day of the year is for people who aren't coupled. Or should we celebrate love in general? Again, this may just be me, but I think a lot of people would have problems with stalkers and obsessors. Don't worry, they're just celebrating love in their own creepifying way. I digress.

Singles Awareness Day. A day to be aware of those who are single. Self-explanatory. I suppose there really isn't one set goal for SAD. There is no societally-declared objective. However, -

Side note: SAD. Sad. Single = Sad. No, wrong equation. Don't think you're clever for making that connection. You're just an idiot if you are amused by it.

*ahem*

...I believe it is a great chance for people who are single to get out there, meet someone new or maybe reconnect with an past love interest, or pursue their current interests. Who knows? Maybe it will lead somewhere, and maybe it won't, but the ultimate idea behind it all is that just because couples have a special day all to themselves doesn't mean they are privileged to be the only ones to celebrate being in love. I'm getting pretty tired of reading facebook bullshit and hearing from people about how they hate Valentine's Day because it's "a couples' day" or "I don't have anyone special, waaaah." I'm saying, couples are in love and they should celebrated, but those who are single shouldn't be discouraged simply because it's supposed to be a couples' day. Just don't go hating on couples, that's stupid. They're happy and instead of wasting your time bitching and moaning about how you're so miserable, why don't you go out and find that special someone? Or maybe you could just go out and celebrate being single. It has it's perks; you know it, I know it, we all know it. And that's what I'm going to go out and do tomorrow. I am going to celebrate being single and, hell, maybe I'll just happen to talk to the right gal.

My last message regarding Valentine's Day/Singles Awareness day is addressed to all the couples out there. It's fantastic that you are in a relationship. Go ahead, celebrate. Just be courteous to the public eye. The day is about the two of you celebrating your love for each other; no one else needs to know. It's a private matter. So please, do not commit overzealous PDA. No one wants to see a couple going at it in the mall parking lot. And to all the guys out there, don't go parading your girl or wife around to everyone. Unless you really want to be an elitist, sexist, self-centered bastard, don't go treating a woman like that or you may find yourself quite lonely the rest of Valentine's Day, let alone the rest of your life.

Okay, so this whole bit was a bit random. And in writing it, I've noticed that I was kind of all over the place. But my reasoning is simple: I have laundry almost done and dinner to attend with a friend. Yeah. You all totally thought I was fretting about tomorrow. Nah. I'll worry about tomorrow when it gets here, cause I ain't stopping it and it ain't getting here any faster.

Tomorrow, celebrate February 14th in whatever way makes you happy. But for one day, think of making someone else happy with you.

Happy Valentine's / Singles Awareness Day!

~Nick

We define gravity...

...as that which pulls our mass towards Earth. Also, that which makes us shorter. Which is what this post will be.

I am not feeling well. I feel like if I take a shit my intestines will explode or if I don't take a shit my intestines will still explode. Maybe I'm just constipated, maybe I have the runs really bad, or maybe it's any number of things. Whatever it is, I don't care, I just decided I'm going to take a shit after this post. Sorry if that's a little graphic for you, but I guarantee you have seen much worse on the internet, especially if you're reading blogs. Therefore, I feel less guilty about taking advantage of your stupidity.

Besides feeling like shit (pun completely intended), I missed class today. I woke up at 1515. Kind of neat, since that's never happened to me before, but that's not the point. The point is that I missed class. Just when I was on a roll to getting back to where I want and need to be. Ah, well, I guess we all hit some kind of barrier when we are ambitious and maybe a bit obsessed with a good idea, in this case, a healthy one.

Anyways, it's been like, 10 minutes and I feel like one of those baby aliens from Alien is going to just burst through my stomach. Yes, nerds, I realize it was the chest cavity that incubated the alien eggs before they hatched. Semantics.

~A sickly Nick.

To reach another extension...

...please press 11. There is no 11 on a phone. Nor is there a 10, but never mind that.

Okay, so in a nutshell, I am cutting back on everything. Tobacco is twice a day, beer is one a day. Eating less, and eating healthier. So far, I've already lost a bit of weight...or maybe I just feel better without all the crap emotions in my head. Either way, things are looking better.

Sleep patterns. Right. Psychotherapist said to improve them, I would need to change my habits, quit if possible. Now, I'm old fashioned and I believe that quitters never win, and winners never quit. In this case, I'm a winner, which means I get to enjoy a short time of glory and pleasure, but probably won't be around as long. As such, I will probably die a few years younger than what was originally planned. Too bad, so sad. Maybe by the time I'm 65 they can transport my brain into a robot. Sweet. But I digress.

Sleep schedule is slowly coming back. It's been a long haul, and I'm not quite where I want to be, but lagging a few feet into the race is better than falling at the start. So far, I've woken up for all but my earliest class (which is only Tu and Th), a significant improvement over waking up AFTER all classes. Again, to reiterate, do not use amphetamines such as adderall unless it is prescribed to you. Just my two cents, my little warning; take it or leave it.

Other aspects of life / recent developments. Hm.

-21 + New Years = Drunkenness. Life: 0, Nick: 1.

-Women. This one's self explanatory. Life: 1, Nick: 1.

-Missed only one assignment this week. Of eight. Life: 1, Nick: 2.

-Best friend got a girlfriend. Makes time for sex. And nothing else. Life: 2, Nick: 2.

-Old roommate out. New roommate in. Newbie messes with my shit, thinks he's real funny. Life: 3, Nick: 2.

-Other best friend in California remains alive and well. Life: 4, Nick: 2. (hoping he sees this)

Final Score

Life: 4 ---- Nick: 2

Same shit. Different day.

Aloha,

~Nick