A Brand New Title...

...has been awarded to me. Now, I've been called many things by many people, among them a plethora of curse words, negative adjectives, or any combination of the two. I've heard some compliments and I generally take them with a grain of salt. I don't know if it's just because I'm trying to be modest and humble, or if I don't believe them. Usually, kind words about myself are met with embarrassment and a bit of self-loathing. Guess I just don't like the attention. But last night, I was told by someone I had just met and hadn't known for longer than an hour that I was a "decent" person.

Decent. Adjective. 1) conforming with generally accepted standards of respectable and moral behavior; of an acceptable standard; satisfactory.

So what does this mean? It's pretty self-explanatory, really. The definition is right there. There's nothing particularly overrating the person in question. And it's not really saying that the person is bad.

I was quite taken aback by what she had described me as. A decent man. A decent person. A decent human being. In all my time searching for the right way to understand myself in a simplified form, has it finally been so blatantly placed right in front of me? Decent. But what does this mean to me?

Decent. I guess the first thing that comes to mind is not good, not bad, just acceptable. Just okay. The average. I've been searching and attempting to be what I believe to be every person to be, the average. That's the idealist in me. Maybe I've succeeded. Maybe I've become what I wanted to be. Or maybe this is just one rest stop on the road through life. I think I'll go with that.

All that aside, this is the first time I have been okay with someone's description of me. It's an odd feeling, realizing that decent is what I am. Average. Just okay. Acceptable. Representative of the standards. My standards.

Decency and acceptability. I like it.

~Nick