Then I am definitely going to be reincarnated as something less than a cockroach. Perhaps I'll come back as a new strain of the flu and infect anyone who has a blog and does not regularly update it. You know, my friend is in Ireland and, even with all that she's doing over there, she still finds more time to update her blog than I have found in nine months! I'm hoping that, seeing as how I have a super easy semester, I'll be able to update more frequently. Before all those supposed updates, I figure I should probably update you all on pretty much the last half year of my life. I shall do my best to condense and summarize, but not miss important details.
So, spring semester of 2009. I suppose I can't really complain with my grades. As it turns out, what I thought was going to be a moderately difficult semester -- two higher-level history courses, a political science course, and a language course -- turned out to be the most stressful and hellish five months of my collegiate career. Unbeknownst to me, the history courses and the political science course all required vast amounts of readings (books AND articles) as well as a previously unheard of amount of essay-writing. Here are the basic stats; they should give you a pretty good idea as to how incredibly awesome my life was.
Average length of sleep: 6 hours (often less)
Average nights of sleep/week: 3
Average pages due per week: 12-15
Average time spent reading material needed for writing said pages: 6-8 hours/night
Now, here's where I'm confusing myself. I'm sure you would agree that this does not sound like something the normal human being can achieve for five months, without serious risk to his or her health. While I am quite normal now, back then I was not. I spent an incredible amount of personal funds to buy Adderall and other "performance enhancing" drugs, which I was constantly taking. Needless to say, my brain was thoroughly fried. However, I did garner the grades I aimed to get (above a 3.0 for the semester, which was lowered from 4.0 after I discovered that my classes were going to be tough). In addition to both learning the material (as well as retaining the information) and getting the grades I worked for, I have also seemed to have developed a minor sleep disorder. To be a bit more precise, it's more like several disorders: insomnia, random lengths of sleep, randomly altered moods regardless of sleep length, things like that. So, why am I telling you this? For two reasons. First, I would not recommend using drugs like Adderall for academic purposes. I don't necessarily believe it to be cheating, but it's not the best way, it's merely convenient. Second, if you do end up using them, do NOT make it a regular habit to take them. In an emergency, such as a forgotten essay due at 0900 the next morning, I believe it's okay. But keeping yourself on a high dose (I was averaging 100+ mg/day; a dangerous dose is considered to be anywhere from 150-180 mg) for an extended period of time will not end well for you. If you aren't already in the know, drugs like Adderall or Ritalin are amphetamines. Amphetamines are basically the minor form of METH. In higher doses, they can cause psychosis and hypertension. And if you think you can take them for a while and not get addicted, then you are a fucking idiot. I had to deal with 3 weeks of withdrawal symptoms (go to wikipedia if you want to know what they are; I pretty much had all of them) and it was very, very tough. Nicotine, alcohol, nothing could satisfy the urge. So, if you decide to be a moron and make stupid choices like myself, then know that I gave you fair warning.
SUMMER! Best part of the year and I think that goes almost without question. Sun, breeze, bright colors, family, friends, a distinct absence of stress, fishing, tubing, shooting, working, driving, boating, running, partying...the list goes on. My summer did not disappoint me; it was filled with many traveling adventures as well as the usual sit-around-and-do-nothing-because-I-can solo adventures. After spending such a horrid semester at school here on the Hawaiian islands, it almost felt like Minnesota was a great three-month vacation. I got to see family and friends, go see places, do things, sleep (well, more than I was), eat homemade food, fish, read...you know, it costs a lot to keep flying back and forth but it sure feels freakin' awesome.
August 21st, I returned to O'ahu. It was a tiring flight of delays, nearly missed connections, as well as general boredom. When you fly to Hawai'i twice each year, it sort of loses its zeal. I've come to realize that I'm not returning here for vacation, I'm returning to continue my education; that thought curbs any excitement I previously had. Speaking of continuing education...
This is my third year of school. It will also be my last...but only for a while! I will be returning. If you have been following this blog for a length of time, you will know that I am quite set on enlisting in the military, specifically the United States Marine Corps. Why? Because I want to. I want to fulfill my duty to this country, do something honorable with myself. I want to prove that I have what it takes to be the best of the best. I want to NOT pay 34k to go to school and have massive amounts of loans under my name. I do not want my parents to be struggling to work as much overtime as they can to make their contribution (which fucking FAFSA decided was a "proper" amount). I want my sister, who is infinitely more intelligent and capable than myself, to be able to go to a university of her choice, where she will have the education and resources to succeed in whatever she wants to do in life, and I also don't want my parents bending over backwards to work to pay for both of us. At this rate, neither of them will be able to retire in time to really enjoy their lives. I figure that since I'm frequently at odds with my education and since my sister is going to be graduating this year, I'm going to shift the money that is coming my way towards her. Following the closure of spring semester 2010, I will be returning to Minnesota and enlisting in the USMC. For how long, I am not sure. Since I will be enlisted (my clinical depression and medications are a black mark on my medical record; I'm not allowed to be an officer in any branch of the military), I will be getting paid less and doing more. In order to pay back loans, my parents, and have enough saved up to support myself going back to school after, my guess is a full eight years. If I'm in any longer? Hell, I might as well make a career out of it, I'd be half-done after ten years; ha, if I'm lucky I could retire just after hitting 40 years of age. Now some of you who know me, and some who don't, will probably disagree with my decision, and you have every right to think I'm making the wrong decision. But I at least hope you can all understand why I'm doing what I'm doing and that I'm making this choice based on my own beliefs. All I'm asking for is support for the decision because as of right now, I don't have very much. I've been called an idiot to my face by multiple people and I've been lectured by many more. I'll be doing it regardless, but it'd be nice to know that my choice is at least respected and that I'm not failing everyone's expectations of me.
Anyways, it is currently 0630 here. See? SEE? Insomnia. I'm not even tired right now, my wrists are just insanely sore from typing a novel for you to read. If you made it this far, I'm impressed!...impressed that you actually were intrigued enough to read this far! Shoots!
Aloha,
~Nick
